My absence in blogging was due to joining the U.S. Air Force…. the whole BMT experience is another story which I won't get into. But what I do want to share is how difficult it was for me to be away from my children, especially Aliyah. My mother took care of them during my training. Therapies were still running, well sort of…. Yes, when I found out my insurance wasn't paying for services, which caused most of Aliyah's services to be postponed I panicked, to say the very least. I was ready to call it quits! "F* that, can't take this, my child needs me, I want out" ----- luckily my MTI (Military Training Instructor) allowed me to make phone calls to the insurance company and anyone else I needed to call in order to get Aliyah's services promptly resumed…. :)
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| Aliyah with her biggest FAN!!! Me! |
Overall BMT did do a lot of good for me, it made me believe I am strong… gave me that reassurance I can fight against anything… and made me feel closer to God. I was alone.. and he was the one I confided in… In the past I believed in him, but never developed a "relationship". It may sound weird to some or many, but the reason I am stronger is because I share all of my "grief", anger, sadness, feeling of isolation, anything negative with him, and truly believe under his path that he has designed for me everything will be just fine… allowing me to breathe without any heartaches, without any tears, and without any fears. It is a wonderful feeling….. a sense of security. My previous blog entry I was experiencing a meltdown. Yes, financial reasons can get anyone there, but add "special needs child" to the melt down… one word….defeated……. I am still facing those financial hardships but am getting 80% of it reimbursed, and should be getting 100% of it reimbursed after I meet my yearly catastrophic cap! I recently (mid January 2014) submitted the same paperwork (that I submitted in Sept2013) and got a difference response this time around, an APPROVAL FOR REIMBURSEMENT! I was NOT expecting that… I didn't even want to ask the insurance company why they changed their minds!!!
I know I can get very emotional, but with faith of a better tomorrow, everything will be "steady"… not hectic as many of us tend to imagine. I want to be a better me, a calmer, relaxed me so that I can make the right choices. Sometimes letting the "mama bear" version of me tends to burn bridges… bridges that I may need one day.
Aliyah is a happy child…My job is to maintain that happiness…. that smile... Aliyah does not know hate, she does not know deceit… heartache..sorrow… Aliyah will have an AMAZING LIFE! :)
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Aliyah with her father, getting ready to have a feast!
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| Aliyah dancing with her Grandpa. |
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| ALiyah adores her little brother, and Bruce protects his little sister, they have a beautiful bond. |
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| Enjoying the Beach ride. |
