I can't take this......
I wish her spasms went away!
Do any of you feel beaten up when you see other kids pass their mild stones while your child is being left behind, to the point that it is becoming more noticeable? I do.....
Aliyah is turning 2 this August... She will start daycare and I do plan on throwing a big Birthday for her, and on inviting all of her new friends.... I am planning on buying a bounce house, hire face painters, hire people to dress up as ELMO and Cinderella for pictures, and so much more!
The reason being this might be the one birthday she can pass as a normal child... By three it may be too noticeable and I am afraid the children may be mean to her, and the parents I JUST DON'T KNOW. I hope they understand.... I may not have a chance to throw her a sweet 16.... I didn't have one but ever since I knew I was having a little girl .. I secretly planned her sweet 16, graduation party from High School and College, wedding, children's baptism... EVERYTHING......
Am I losing it? I need more faith, I need to pray some MORE!! I need more prayers for my daughter!!! My heart is aching so much, I need to be strong for her and my 2 month old. But this pain is taking the best out of me.... Why? Why my little girl? why are there illnesses out there? why to earth's little angels? I would do anything to trade spots with her....
I love my baby girl and will do anything to protect her......
I feel like I am going crazy, I can't talk to my husband about this, he has closed himself up about her infantile spasms.... All I know it is a relief to be expressing myself through this blog... I need someone to listen to me.
